I am Peter

I am so Peter. I am the girl on the boat saying, "Take me, Jesus! Can I go? I'll walk on the water!" I run head first, out onto the water with no doubt that the impossible will be overcome. Then, I see the waves. I see the dark sea beneath me. The doubts begin to mount. I feel myself sinking. So, I scream out, "Jesus, you lead me out here! Will you let me fail? Don't leave me alone! Jesus, I am afraid!"

And as always, He reaches out and scoops me up. "Why are you screaming, my child? Why are you fearful? Where is your faith? I called you out onto the water. You are with the creator of the universe. Will I not provide and care for you?"

It does not matter how many times he answers and provides; I still doubt.

I had a Peter moment this morning. I was doing some PR work for my mission trip, and then it happened. The doubts started flooding in. "What if I don't raise enough money? God, you won't let me down, right? I probably am just annoying people anyways. I have so little time left. It's not going to be enough."

And then, I just got nasty. "God, I know people working to raise $30,000+ for their adoption. I just need $3,000. Why is it so hard for me? Why aren't people giving more? Why is it so easy for them to raise money?" (I hope you didn't think I had it all together and am always found in the dust of my Rabbi. I most certainly am one, big mess!)

But just as He was with Peter, there was Jesus, quieting me. In less than 3 hours of my melt down, God provided $145. I could feel Him whispering to me, "See? I will provide. This is my plan, and it is perfect. I will never leave you."

No matter how many doubts I have or how nasty I get, He is always there, calling me further out into the waters. Just two days ago, I was encouraging all of you to fight for something. I was so excited for the task ahead. Today, I took my eyes off of Christ and began to sink. But He was still there to scoop me up, and He will always be.

His love amazes me. His faithfulness leaves me breathless. I know the doubts will rise again. I will feel my fear overtaking me, but I never want to be too afraid to face the waves. I want to always be the girl leaping off the side of the boat calling, "Take me, Jesus! I'll go!"

*2/18 I received $615 in the mail today! God is too good to me. Why do I ever doubt?

My Revolution

For me, it is the orphan. That's what pulls my heart. The thing that I can no longer turn away from. The thing that I have to do something about. The thing I have to fight for.

The orphan crisis is what God has broken my heart for. According to latest UNICEF (2007) estimates there are 145 million orphans worldwide. An orphan is defined as a child who has lost one or both parents. It is estimated that approximately 15 million of those children have lost both parents. That number is growing daily. According to the CIA World Factbook, there are approximately 2,255,157,957 professing Christians in the world. That is 33.32% of the population. Now, I have never loved math, but 2 billion > 15 million.

When I read Matthew 25 and James 1:27, I have NO doubt that it is our responsibility to care for the broken. So what is the church doing? Why aren't we fighting? Why are there AT LEAST 15 million children without a family? Why are there children starved for food, water and love?

Yes, this is what God has broken my heart for. This is what makes me angry. This is what I will be a revolutionary for. This is what I cannot leave unchanged. I am determined to cause change, even if it's just for one. I will do SOMETHING.

I would love to recruit you all to this fight. I think it is appalling that we have allowed this to go unnoticed. But it's not just the orphan crisis...

According to recent estimates, there are 126 million child laborers engaged in hazardous work. 14 million adolescents age 14 to 19 give birth each year. 1.2 million children are trafficked worldwide every year. 250,000 children are currently serving as child soldiers. Of 1.39 million people involved in forced commercial sexual exploitation, 40 to 50% are children. 130 million women and girls have been subjected to female genital mutilation/cutting.

So, you see, there is NO EXCUSE. If you didn't know, now you know the numbers. There are plenty of other injustices in the world. There are so many people that are broken and crying out for help. There are so many things that need to be changed, need to be fought for. We have NO excuse.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 reads, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." You know the numbers; God has equipped you with EVERYTHING that you need. What will you fight for? What will you allow God to break your heart for? What will you be a revolutionary for?

It is my prayer that I never again become complacent. It is my prayer that God will continue to break my heart for the injustices in the world. I want to be the hands and feet. Will I fail? Certainly. Do I care? No. Because once you start a revolution, you don't stop fighting until the war is over. Why? Because when you are a part of God's army, you fight until He tells you otherwise.

I'll leave you with one final quote that I stole from the awesome lady behind eXile International, "Awareness without action is an empty breath to a dying man."

Don't turn away. Don't be still. Fight. Start a revolution.

Restless

Who am I?

I am a daughter to amazing parents.

Girlfriend to a wonderful man.

Roommate of an amazing girl.

Sister of Sigma Alpha Omega.

Student at Georgia College quickly approaching graduation.

Member of the Dance Minor program.

Employee at the Georgia College Phon-a-thon.

Psychology intern at the Life Enrichment Center.

Teacher of dance to individuals with developmental disorders.

A dreamer.

Someone with crazy ideas that no longer surprise her mom.

Someone with a passion for people with special needs.

Someone with a passion for the orphan.

The widow.

The poor.

The enslaved.

Emotional.

Someone who cares entirely too much about making other people happy.

Someone who will push everything else aside, even when that means her relationship with God, to ensure her peers are happy with her.

Someone who cries over everything. Everything.

Stubborn.

Someone who fights to get her way with all that she has.

Someone who will fight for the passions of her heart to no end.

Impatient.

Someone who is not always a fan of God's timing.

A worrier.

Someone who wants control over everything, will stress to no end when that control is taken away, and will forget God's sovereignty.

A procrastinator.

Someone who lets herself get way behind in her Bible reading plan.

Forgiven.

Someone who is miraculously living within God's grace. Ephesians 2:8-9

Healed.

Someone who was told she would never be normal, but God had greater plans. Psalm 30:2

Called.

Someone who knows we ALL must fight for the least of these. Matthew 25:31-46

Humbled.

Someone who Christ made himself a servant for and then died for. Isaiah53:5

Adopted.

A daughter of the Mighty King. Romans 8:14-16

Often, it's easy to forget where my true identity lies. So many other things pull my attention. People, class, work, responsibilities, passions. I allow those things to become my gods. I work myself to exhaustion for those things. Yet, the whole time God is calling, "Come, my love. Find rest in me. Find value in me. Find purpose in my glory." He knows this is what I need, what I truly long for.

Meet My Friend

God is just awesome. I love how I somehow managed to stumble upon Katie's blog over a year ago, and God began to tug at my heart. I love how months later I clicked through blog, after blog until I eventually found Visiting Orphans and am now going to Uganda. And I love how God has used those families I stumbled upon to feed my soul.

Like this precious family.

Meet the Maser's. I have never met Melissa in person, but she is an amazing woman of God. She has four precious kiddos already. She and her hubby are adopting another precious one from Ethiopia.

For my birthday Melissa shared a link about my trip to Uganda and donated to my journey. How awesome is she?! I love how despite the big cost of adoption, she is still giving freely. I am so excited to see how God continues to use Melissa and her family. And I just can't wait for them to get their referral and bring their little one home!

Melissa is having a giveaway over at her blog. I already have one of the glass bead necklaces, and they are BEAUTIFUL! Don't you want to win one? Or why not make a contribution to their adoption? The Maser's will need $8,000 when they get their referral.

God is AWESOME and WILL provide the funds they need. He called them to adoption and He will see it to completion, but wouldn't you love to be a part of their journey? Christianity is a community of believers. It's not a thing you do alone. We are all a part of the body, and it only works when we are fighting for and encouraging each other.

So what are you waiting for? Go support my sweet friend!