I have prayed and I have waited. Prayed and waited. Why was God not sending anyone to me? I was praying. He should have delivered.
God had been delivering every day. I was just too blind to see. I have been struggling recently to really spend personal time with God. I wasn't spending time in God's word like I should. I wasn't truly seeking Him. And I know that in order for me to grow closer to God, I have to put in the effort. Yet for some reason, I always seem to have problems remembering that.
It is exactly .4 miles from my apartment to campus. This morning when I left for class I thought to grab my iPod. The first song to play was Shane and Shane's "Heart of Servants."
I spent the .4 miles praising my Father. Asking Him to change my heart. To make me a servant of all. Asking Him to help me surrender my pride. To release me from my selfishness. And to pour out His love through me.
When I arrived in class my teacher asked me about the shirt I was wearing. It is my adoption shirt from the Walser Family. The shirt says, "Love with abandon. Love an orphan." So I had the opportunity to share with my teacher and rest of the class the miracle of adoption and the amount of love involved.
And there's more. The class is called Creative Art Therapies. Today we were asked to draw a wall, of any kind. This is the wall I drew (please keep in mind that I am NOT artistically gifted).
We were then asked to explain to the class what our wall symbolized. I explained that my wall symbolized the walls that adoptive families have to fight through. That it is not an easy journey, but one that God has called them to and will guide them through. That these families must truly love with abandon to follow God's call. I explained that it is not just families adopting, but that we are called to love all people with abandon. I explained that I chose to make my wall out of interweaving colors because at the end of their journey, the faces of these families may be many different colors, but they are all a part of God's family.
I didn't have an in depth conversation on theology with my class. It was just a brief time of sharing. But it was something, and I am so thankful for that chance.
God showed up. He put someone in my path. But God has shown up every day. I just haven't taken the time to prepare my heart for when He does. I allowed myself to pass through the day blinded to the opportunities all around me. But oh the difference a morning of praise makes.
Lamentations 3:22-23 reads, "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
God's compassions are new EVERY MORNING. So no matter what kind of day I'm having when I wake up or what trials I am facing, I have something to praise Him for.
I know I will probably learn this lesson all over again at some point. But I am thankful for the lesson today. I am thankful that God loves me regardless of the amount of effort I put forth. I am thankful that God doesn't love you more than me or me more than you. I am thankful that God loves ALL of me. I am thankful that He wants all of me.